What to Do If Your Child Is Shy or Anxious During Newborn Family Photos

Jan 30

A mom and dad are holding their toddler son while looking at their newborn baby girl who is lying in a bassinet

Preparing for your newborn session with your first child was probably a little stressful because you were a first time parent and didn’t know what to expect! However, your photographer helped you relax and all you had to do was focus on the quiet, little baby in front of you. Now, you are expecting your second baby and you have a toddler who is moving constantly, is starting to have meltdowns, and seems a bit anxious with strangers! Even though you want to preserve the same memories as you did with your first baby, the thought of having a peaceful newborn photo session can seem a little daunting. If you’re worried your child might feel shy, anxious, or overwhelmed during your family’s newborn photo session — you’re not alone. This is one of the most common concerns parents share with me during our Newborn Pre-Session Consultation.

In order to ease some of your worries about preparing for a newborn session with a toddler, here are some tips for photo sessions with kids that will help parents to feel confident and relaxed as they prepare for their up-coming photo session.

First, It’s Normal for Them to Be Nervous

Some children warm up instantly. Others take time. Some need space. Some need movement. Some need quiet reassurance. All of that is normal. A new environment, unfamiliar expectations, and the subtle pressure of “we’re taking photos now” can feel big to a child — especially toddlers and sensitive kids. Nervousness isn’t misbehavior. It’s a queue for adults to take notice and to know how to respond and to create a safe environment so that they can feel free to be themselves and relax.

What do I do as a newborn photographer to help? First, I create a welcoming environment in my studio for both adults and kids. As soon as you enter my Minneapolis Studio, you will enter into a peaceful environment that is full of welcoming surprises for children. It is an open space with lots of space to run and play. Toys and stuffed animals are placed strategically at their level so that they are the first thing they will see when you enter the door. I remain unobtrusive, yet welcoming. I get down at their level to say “hello” and then I introduce them to my stuffed animal friends. Next, they are encouraged to check everything out. I let them see everything, to check out if the sofa is comfortable enough, and invite them to help me pick items out for baby.

Why Forcing Smiles Doesn’t Work: Don’t make them say “cheese!”

When kids feel pressured to perform, smile, or behave a certain way, they feel stressed and put on the spot. As a result, they may react with:

Clinging
Avoiding eye contact
Meltdowns or tears
Shutting down completely

The more adults try to correct or rush this, the more anxious kids become. Real connection can’t be forced — it has to be felt. That’s why my sessions are intentionally slow, flexible, and child-led. Instead of sitting immediately in front of the camera, I encourage clients to play with their child, read a story together, or cuddle with a song. This not only helps children (and adults!) relax, but it results in beautiful candid shots full of real emotion and smiles, no “cheese” needed.

How I Create a Calm Environment for Kids

Slowing Down

Newborn sessions take time - not only for baby, but for the entire family. Taking time to settle into the studio, picking out outfits, and exploring the environment are all done in a slow and peaceful way. When session time begins, I don’t rush kids into posing or smiling. We ease in gently, allow time for play and connection with mom and dad.

Following the Child’s Lead

If a child wants to explore, we explore. If they need to stay close to a parent, that’s where we start. Once they feel safe, then their true expressiveness will emerge. There is plenty of time for this to happen. Movement, cuddles, reading a story — these help regulate kids naturally and allow authentic expressions to emerge. Often, the most beautiful moments happen after kids realize they don’t have to do anything at all.

Making Them Feel Important

A new baby brother or sister is a life-changing thing for your entire family, especially for your first child who has been “the baby” for a long time. I recognize that this is a time of adjustment in all of your lives. This demands extra grace as well as extra love! My goal is for siblings to feel special and important. I often invite big brother or sister to be “my helper.” They are invited to help pick out things for baby, to take photos with an extra special “wooden” camera I have on hand for such occasions, and to even help me take an actual picture with my camera (with my assistance of course!). At the end of everything, they receive lots of gratitude and a special present to take home because being a big brother or sister is a very important job.

What Parents Can Do Before the Session

Before every session, clients receive my Newborn Session Prep Guide. This guide contains tons of helpful tips and tricks to help parents feel prepared and confident with all of the details of session day. Here are some of tips from the guide:

Snacks, Toys, and Special Awards All The Way!

I will have some little toys available for siblings and snacks, too. But, feel free to bring some of their favorites, too. Cheerios and puffs are perfect for toddlers. For older kids, fruit snacks and small crackers are good too! Avoid chocolate altogether! Tic Tacs and Smarties are good bribery treats for kiddos 4 and up! When session time is done, I will give a special gift to siblings. They deserve it!

Work in Partnership with Me

Never force a toddler to pose, sit still, or look at the camera. We will work together to engage your kiddos so that you will connect as a family.

“Shoot and Run!” Breaks are a Must

With toddlers especially, I call it the "shoot and run". Because their attention spans only go so far, we will work together to engage sister or brother, and then let them run off and play. Then in a little while, we will bring them in to engage again. Sometimes, it takes just a split second to get an images you will remember forever!

Activities to Do Together!

I encourage you to simply be a family together while I capture the connection, comfort, and love: play together, tell jokes, ask for hugs, sing, cuddle, kiss each other, tickle and laugh, but also quietly snuggle! I will have toys available and lots of books for reading, too! I will guide you through the entire way and offer up suggestions.

Talk About Photos Casually

Instead of building it up as a big event, try:

“We’re going to spend some time together to celebrate our family, to play, and have fun!”

Avoid Saying:

“You have to smile.”
“You need to behave.”
“Don’t be shy.”

These phrases unintentionally create pressure.

What to Do If Your Child Cries or Freezes

This is important: nothing has gone wrong.

Crying, hiding, or freezing is a sign your child needs reassurance — not correction.

When this happens, we pause. Parents hold their child. We breathe. We reset. I never photograph through distress.

And here’s the surprising part: once kids realize they are allowed to feel what they feel, they often soften naturally.

The Magic That Happens When Kids Feel Safe

When children feel emotionally safe, we capture:

Gentle glances
Real connection
Quiet joy
Authentic expressions

Not stiff smiles — but truth. These are the images parents return to years later and love the most because they are real memories of who your children are - their unique personalities - perfectly preserved.